Managers often talk about “control” as if it’s something they can hold onto. A river taught me otherwise.

As a management instructor and consultant, I have periodically heard managers bemoan their lack of “control” in various settings. My typical response to that remark is that control is an illusion; there is really no such thing. At best, all we can hope to achieve is influence. I came to this conclusion, an epiphany really, several years ago during a whitewater rafting trip.

My buddies and I got stuck in a fairly aggressive section of the river. There were rocks and whitewater waves everywhere. Fearing our immediate capsizing, we paddled like mad to keep our line in the river. The boat was heaving like a bucking bronco, and many of my compatriots were holding on for dear life. Despite our frantic exertions, our efforts seemed to have little effect. After a while, we were unable to maintain our furious paddling pace, and one by one, my friends quit paddling altogether. With each person who quit, I noticed that our heaving was subsiding, though the river was no less riled. We were still rocking around quite a bit, but the ride was much smoother and significantly so.

As an experiment, I asked my friends to again put their backs into their oars and paddle vigorously. They complied (reluctantly, I think), and again we were soon being shaken about. When we ceased paddling, again, our lot was much better in terms of our comfort. In fact, we found that we did not have to hold on as tightly as we had been. We didn’t stop paddling altogether, but just enough here and there to avoid more difficult obstacles. 

I learned a lot from that experience. While I thought I was controlling the situation, my efforts were actually making matters worse. There was no way I was going to control the river, its size and strength were far beyond mine. But I did not have to control it. Like playing a musical instrument, it is important to know when and how to apply force; too much and you confuse the situation, too little and you lose any influence you truly do have. Rather than paddling crazily, it’s better to apply small actions at the right time. Managing organizations and people is no different. Leaders don’t calm the waters by paddling harder—they do it by choosing the right moment to act.